There was a scream; a loud yell sorta scream that one does when they are getting stabbed. This was followed by a few smaller yells and then silence. I got ready to jump to the ground in attack mode assuming these were the sounds of a loose killer; getting ready to throw an elderly over my good shoulder and start saving lives!
No. These were the sounds I heard walking into my first physical therapy session for my injured shoulder. What was I walking into?
I looked at my therapist -- she at me-- "is this normal" I asked, hoping she would say no.
She replies "Oh that? Oh that's nothing" with enough sarcasm to put up a fight with the question mark. The question mark got its crooked ass kicked.
I replied "Oh". She just laughed. Still wondering what that meant.
That's how it went down. My first therapy session on October 17 -- 8 weeks since my surgery -- started with a scream. Now 9 sessions later, I hate to admit this, but today I was that elderly woman screaming in pain as my torturer slowly pulled my arm back, like my arm was a rubber band, trying to make it snap, as she was "reassessing" me to check my progress. Well, I can say I progressed all right -- progressed in pain. I screamed like my 4yr old this morning because she did not get to wear blue underwear today (it was all in the wash). The only difference is I am wearing blue underwear today and am 38. Now I totally get the sarcasm in response to the screaming I heard on the first day.
"Ah Ah Ahhhhhhh" - said a red faced, side parted tool, as my torturer slowly took her time to measure my range of motion. This went on for at least 10 minutes. The reward -- if there is such a thing -- was the news that I am progressing very well and am on track. Now on track for what I am not so sure. It was then I realized that PT really does stand for Pain and Torture. Don't let anyone tell you differently as I so did not want to believe it either.
The irony of it all is that I got this injury from doing Brazilian Ju-Jitsu. This requires you to tap out if you are about to have a ligament broken due to your opponent trying, with all his might, to break anything he can hold on to. And here I am, trying to tap out as my opponent/therapist, aka Jack the Ripper, is trying to pull my arm out of my socket to "help me". Apparently tap outs don't work in real life. But screaming does! I sooo wanted to yell FREEEEEEEDDOOMMMMM like William Wallace as my ego is being ripped out of my puny, lifeless, no-muscle arm. But I didn't as I am not tough like Mr Wallace. I am Danny with pussy shoulders. Booo
"What is your pain today? 0-10?", is what I am asked at the start and end of each session. 0 is what I say because I have no idea how the 0-10 scale of pain works. Its sooo irrelevant. I drop a weight on my toe and its an Ouch, but I stub my toe because I cant walk normal and trip on a flat floor, and its an OUCH (in all caps). So how does 0-10 work. No clue. I just try to stay tough, say 0 every time, and let her hurt me enough so I can scream like I'm a 74 year old cheerleader rooting for Rudy; but hey, I am making progress.
15 more sessions to go! Yayyy me! I got this.