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Showing posts from October, 2016

The Sleeping Game

The unthinkable has happened in the last few weeks of life; both kids are in bed and sound asleep by 8pm.  Yes.   Both kids.  Asleep.  8pm.  Actually in most cases its even earlier as we are saying our last 'I Love Yous' at exactly 7:35pm as the lights go out and its on.  And we totally, for all things holy, ensure thisschedule is continually followed on a nightly basis.

How did we get here you ask?  Simple.  Routine. {go ahead and roll your eyes}  Kids know nothing than what you teach them.  For all they know, they are going to sleep at midnight.  Time means nothing.  But what does mean something is the demon like creature that takes over their soul when they are sleepy. Fuck that Devil.  We pretty much figured out that around 6:30 is when Ava turns into Eva, Ellie becomes an Ellien, shit starts to turn heads and toys start moving across the room by themselves.  Therefore, bedtime starts no later than 6:45 in the Bart household. 

That time I interviewed at Sam Goody

Goody got it.  Remember that ish. 

For those born in the 90s will have no idea what im talking about but its still a fun read...

The year was 1996. It was late winter i believe, and i was graduating high school that year.  I had some small jobs here and there but needed money as I now had a car and had some minor responsibilities like paying for my own gas, eating at Burger King and buying 40's in Newark for the weekends.  Shit was tight.

I was way past my grunge look and had evolved into the skater / raver stage -- ya know that one that had GIANT pants that can fit your head at the pant bottom openings and shirts that were 5 sizes too big on purpose. People would know these type of pants as JNCO jeans.  At the time, they were not mainstream and only worn by EDM people, skaters and wannabes like myself.  Well i would not say wannabes as i was a pretty decent rollerblader.  (For those born in the 90s will have no clue that rollerblading was actually a cool thing to do.  There were coo…

RIP Charles

It gives me with great sadness and remorse to report the loss of my very close friend Charles -- aka Charles the sling.  He will always be near and dear to my heart.  On October 11, after 6 short weeks -- which felt like an eternity -- God aka Dr Silver has decided it's time for me to say goodbye to Charles. 

Words cant express this feeling.  We have been through so much.  From weekend picnics in the parks, to late night dinners with the wife.  We have experienced pony rides together, and finger painting.  We have seen movies together - Kubo and the Two Strings (phenomenal) and The Secret Life of Pets (cute) - and enjoyed buttery and greasy popcorn.  

We have seen the birth of new babies and seen the death of loved ones.  We danced like crazy animals together recently at a wedding; and got very drunk in the process.  I even let Charles in on what goes on between closed doors with the Mrs.  I am sure he was very pleased.  

We have written blogs together and laughed about life.  Someho…

That Giant F$#&ing Corn Maze

As most of America was off from work celebrating the original Donald Trump (Christopher Columbus was a complete d-bag for those who dont know) who founded America and made it great by buying stock in furniture sales and new pillows,  I had the grand opportunity to take my children to Stony Hill Farms to have fun getting lost in their GIANT corn maze, sort out some great pumpkins to place outside to get eaten by the squirrels, and to get a sugar high eating tons of fall goodies, like candy apples, apple cider and donuts! Mmmmmm... 

None of that happened by the way as we were lost in a maze for almost 2 hours.. 

It started with a thought -  how about i cancel my meetings, take off work and take the family to a fun-filled fashion fall day.  It seemed like the perfect plan. I told my wife who woke up dying from the infection that the kids picked up from school last week (i got it 2 days before her) and she was game as she made loud trumpet noises blowing her nose.