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Breaking news: The end of the world is nigh..


It will start off with a light drizzle - that annoying mist that leaves a layer of wetness on your face as you walk into work.  By mid morning, it will get heavier leaving tiny rivers on the edges of each street retreating as it make its way to the sewers.  

Then, suddenly, it will stop.  The sun will come out.  The birds will chirp and people will start the usual chatter.  "Those fucking weathermen are full of shit" - says one person as he walks out to his car leaving work early to the pending storm that is supposed to make way.  "Best job ever" says another to his friend about how weathermen get paid to be wrong.

The drive home will be busy because everyone expected a giant storm to come as predicted and decided to leave early to avoid it. But instead, the sun is shining, the weather is perfect and the birds are chirping.  A giant rainbow appears in front of the traffic jam making it worse with its cock tease to the thousands peering out their windows to take a peak.

The beautiful red and greens start to slowly fade.  The orange and yellows turn to grey.  The rainbow goes away and in its place is some giant grey clouds appearing out of nowhere. Its as if God said "I am the weather man and you are fucking with me" and pushed a button.  Immediately, the sky got dark and the wind started to turn.  People in their cars, whom were taking peaks at the beautiful rainbows, were now staring out their windows in fear for what was originally predicted - a hurricane.

The wind starts to howl like a pack of wolves.  Trees begin to sway in the distance dropping their leaves to relinquish the pain.  A drop from the sky falls down - a large one.  The people in their cars notice giant droplets hitting their windshields.  One.  Then two,  until millions of large droplets fill the sky and fall on to the Earth.  Those who are outside begin to run to take cover.  The people in their cars, stuck in traffic on the highway, beep and honk their horns -- at what.  The rain?.  It doesn't stop.  It gets worst.  Much worse.

Suddenly, as if God opened the sky, a large bolt of lightning comes crashing down, illuminating the sky and scaring the shit out of everyone in its path.  Another crash of lightning not too far away accompanied by a giant bang of thunder.  As kids we would say that this was the Gods bowling but this was something far worst.  The howling wolves representing the wind and now the giant bowling pins falling over with each giant elecoctofying shock of light, made everyone get out of their cars and run for their lives.  

And just like that, God decided to pick each one off one at a time.  Lightning streaked from the sky hard into the ground taking out many in its path.  This game continued until there was nothing but smoking pavement and the smell of burnt carcasses leaving a picturesque shot of the show The Walking Dead...

Thousands of miles away, the rest of the country watches on their TVs in horror as NYC has a new terrorist called Mother Nature killing all in its path.  The large headlines scream:


HURRICANE ROSE MAKES LANDFALL
along with many others


BREAKING NEWS:  The weathermen predict this one correct but people did not listen
BREAKING NEWS:   Hurricane Danny they got wrong but it looks like Rose is the big one.

Frightening and similar conversations fill the households:  "I mean why would they listen.  They predicted Hurricane Danny to destroy lower Manhattan and that was a complete bust.  Shit there was not even any rain." 

True.  Hurricane Danny was a complete flop.  So much that the states actually lost millions after declaring states of emergencies along the entire east coast.  Most of this was insurance that the government would be re-elected as it was that time of year again.  And the result? Pissed off taxpayers.

But this time, the east coast was not prepared.  Boy were they not. 

Headlines from across the globe began to give up-to-the-second forecasts of what was happening to the east coast.  Californians watched in horror as the ever-so-famous image of Lady Liberty, with her head off her body and floating in the Hudson River, was now a reality.  People from Utah watched in horror as the famous skyscrapers in NYC suddenly began to give way from the 300+ mph winds that were overtaking the entire metro area.  Texans screamed in horror as they watched the giant tidal waves riding over Manhattan, all of NJ and most of Pennsylvania, leaving nothing behind in its path. Within 30 minutes, the Poconos became the new Jersey Shore.  

The weatherman were running around like lunatics trying to figure out what was happening.  Hurricane Rose was not supposed to be this big.  A category 3 at most but this was the biggest thing they have ever seen - the world has ever seen.  If there was a category it would be a 10.  The worst part is that the storm did not move as it just hung over most of the east coast battering and abusing it as if it was trying to punish all for watching and making the reality stars from the Jersey Shore rich. 

Then it happened.  Colorado first reported it.  A giant sized cloud began to take shape over the state.  Nobody can figure out what it was.  Then another giant cloud over Alabama.  Then Mississippi.  Then Ohio.  Until most of the mid West was under a giant black cloud.  Apparently Rose had reached out its Hurricane peers as it expanded taking over most of the US.   And like the east coast, the same punishment began to unfold on all those underneath it. 

The west coast and all those not affected began to fear for their lives.  Millions took to the streets running from something they did not know.  Cars and traffic jams and mayhem filled the roadways.  There was nowhere to go.  Guns were fired.  People were killed. Riots were running rampant.  Looting was everywhere.  The entire USA empire was falling apart by the realm of Rose. 

The rest of the world watched in horror as the news reports began to stop reporting what was happening in the US.  The entire US was dark.  No power anywhere.  No news was being reported. It was as if the USA had shut off the lights.  As a result, stock markets crashed.  People everywhere panicked.  The world began to take a new shape - an evil twist like a bad horror movie ending. 

Africa fell first.  Then Europe.  Finally Asia.  Those that survived the great recessions scoured the land for food.  There was nothing.  The survivors had eaten everything.  It started off as a couple people just trying to survive as they began to eat the dead.  That then became the way to get food - feed off the dead and living.  And just like that, the Zombie Apolypse began... all because of a storm named Rose. 

Moral of this story:  Don't Fuck with my wife Rose. She has been named a hurricane for 2015. 


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