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Our Disney TV Show Concert Experience

Today I got the pleasure of taking my almost 2 year old to see Jake and the Pirates and Sofia the First "live" in concert.  I put a quotation around live because its not like the cartoon is really alive.  Instead its just real people lip syncing and dancing in front of a cartoon screen. Boooo.


It was actually quite epic.  NOTTT (in Borat voice) 

We have done this one other time and that was epic.. 

{flashback}

We took Ava to see Yo Gabba Gabba live in NYC around Christmas time.  My wife and I sang every song like a couple of dorks and couldnt have been more happy to be there.  Looking around you can see the children singing and dancing and staring at the screen in pure amazement as the parents whispered to each other "is that a dildo" in reference to the ribbed-for-her-pleasure-one-eyed creature called Muno.   But the three of us had a kick ass time..that is until Ava, afterwards,  saw Elmo and Cookie Monster in costumes in times square and almost shit herself - but that's a different blog.  
This just screams "Come play with me!"

{flashpresent}
But this experience was a new one for me.  We know nothing about these shows.  Ava doesn't really watch this.  Its usually Monsters University or Finding Nemo 674 times a week.  But Ava was the happiest child on the block.  We could not have been more happy. It was so worth the 90 bucks for about an hour that we could have done in our home with Monsters University or Finding Nemo for free.  But its not about us anymore.

The show itself was not very good. I didnt have a clue what was going on.  There was strange accents. The sound quality wasn't that great.  And there was a lot of singing which I just can't do. 

{flashback}
This reminds me the first time I took Rose to see a Broadway show.  I have never been before.  I knew she loved Les Miserables and trying to be the best new boyfriend i can be, i bought her tickets to see this monstrosity.  I remember when it started, they immediately started singing.  I thought to myself "Ok..  It will end soon".  But it didnt.  It never ended.  They just kept fucking singing.  So about 15 minutes in, I leaned over to Rose and said "Do they ever stop singing" and she laughed and said "no.. its a musical silly.  They sing the whole time."  The whole time!?  Christ playing poker on Sunday in a church!!!!  It was then I realized I had to actually pay attention to what they were singing about.  Boy that was hard.   So hard that i just stared at the stage and thought about what we were going to do afterwards. Its safe to say that I dont have a clue of what Les Miserables is about. 
Please just say what you are trying to say.  The singing is not working for me.


{flashpresent}
So when I hear singing, I immediately zone out. I cant be bothered.  So instead, I just stared at my daughter as she just stared at the stage with her thumb in her mouth. Shes a thumbsucker. Dont judge.  I assume she liked it.  Not her thumb, the show.  But I am not sure.  She could have been just staring at the stage like I did when I saw Les Miserables.  She may have had the worst time in her life and all she thought of about was the pizza we promised her afterwards.  Who knows.  


When I wasnt staring at my daughter's face, I was busy looking around at my surroundings.  

100s of kids drinking ultra big juices. Mulit-lighted battery operated fan things that light up and continue throughout the entire show because the child doesn't understand when to stop.  Pirate plastic swords that are being swung around that also light up with never-ending batteries.  Costco sized popcorn and cotton candy being sold from vendors walking around.  It reminded me of a baseball game but instead of paying $40 for a beer and hot dog, your paying $160 for a plastic sword, chicken fingers and cotton candy.  Oh.. and that $12 beer that you would pay is now replaced with a $16 lemonade.  But at least it comes with a souvenier cup that your child can drink 28oz of whatever around the house. Awesome! It's great to know that we can speed up the diabetes process much much quicker!  YAYYY

Luckily our daughter is still very young.  She doesn't get what that stuff is yet.  We were "those parents" who snuck our own stuff in..sorta like when my wife and i go to the movies.  

{flashback}
Pre-Baby:  One time we went to go to see a movie.  I dont remember the movie because we have seen so many.  But this particular time we had snuck in enough food to feed a small family. It was like we were sneaking in groceries for our loved one that we were visiting in prison. No i don't have a loved one in prison. Im just hypothetically speaking.  But we also would sneak into another theatre to see another movie when our first movie was over, which could have landed us in prison and someone would have had to sneak that stuff in for us!  Yes, we used to live on the edge. So it was always important that we had enough nutrients in our body to get through 4 hours.  This included: 4 sandwiches (1 for Rose, 3 for me), 4 waters, apple slices, i even think i snuck a protein shake in there, some almonds and of course 2 huge coffees.  We were rebels then. 


{flashpresent}
But now it's easier for us to sneak food in anywhere because we have a child.   And a child requires you to carry a huge tote, so big, that it can fit your mother-in-laws stories of how great their kids were when they were younger.  Its that big.  So instead of paying $78 for stuff that will put our daughter in a crazy sugar rage, we opted for smuggled cheerios.  And what do pirates do?  They smuggle things.  So, you can say, we were following the theme of the show. 

We support!

The only thing that's awesome about this whole experience is that you can be as loud as you fucking want.  I can scream at the top of my lungs and not one person would look in my direction.  This is key when you have kids.  I'm constantly shushing my daughter in public that I would not be surprised if she grew up to become a librarian.  But in this environment she can be as loud as she wants and nobody cares.  Thats awesome!!  The only problem is, this rule applies for everyone, including the little rugrat behind you who keeps screaming for no reason and kicking your chair and hitting your head with that stupid pirate sword that the parents paid $75 for because he is hopped up on 2 weeks worth of sugar.  
Jake the Pirate Sword - Amazon: $15, the IZOD center: $98

{Plug time}
And speaking of annoying people behind you, check out my Movie post.  It has everything from annoying people behind you to paying $500 for a soda and popcorn. 

That was a bad plug. I am sorry. But its a great read ;-)
{end plug}

Afterwards, we went to this fantabulous pizza place in East Rutherford, with the 2 other couples we were with.  There were 10 of us - 6 parents, 4 children.  Oh boy. It actually turned out to be a great time and the kids were all behaved, that is, until our Ava spilled her water all over herself more than once, decided to shampoo her hair with pizza tomato sauce and spill Rose's huge glass of Sangria - dont judge. Shes a stay at home mom and deserves it. Kids are fucking tough - all over me and Rose.  Awesome.  Maybe we should have given her some sugar during the show that would have tired her out by this time or brought her a $112 plastic gem necklace that lights up so she would have something to play with!  Shame on you Ava for not letting your parents get tipsy on your time!!!  

Can't wait for the next TV show concert!!! It sure beats Les Miserables. 
a
This was the result of me google imaging: "Les Misearables Funny".  Is this true???  How women love this shit is beyond me.  At least in Back to the Future there was a purpose - Marty had to stop a time paradox that can destroy the universe.  Duh. 

*no alcohol was consumed during the events that took place in this blog.  All references to alcohol were intended for entertainment purposes only.  No children were harmed during the making of this blog. 
    

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