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12 Days of Christmas - I'm dreaming of a sunny, hot, green Christmas.

It's that time of year again.  A time when you wake up and open your window on Christmas morning and hope that you will see a beautiful picturesque landscape of snow falling and glistening on the treetops, children frolicking and sleigh riding on the hill in the distance and people smiling as the street dances with laughter and snow.  

This picture, unfortunately, only exists in the Hollywood movie sets or in the minds of people who live where it is hot and assume that this is how it is. It is not. 

So why a white Christmas?  Bing Crosby performed this song in 1941. It has since been the highest grossing single of all time with some estimates of over 100 million copies.  That's a lot of White Christmases.  The song was written by some dude named Irvin Berlin and with a name like that it makes you wonder what "white" he was referring to.  It was snow people and apparently he was in LA on Christmas Eve when he wrote the lyrics.  My assumption is that it was hot and he wanted to be skiing on Christmas.  Probably too many hot toddies. If it was written today, Irvin would have been forced to change the lyrics to "Snowy Christmas" to not sound prejudice. 

The chances of having a white Christmas are extremely slim.  We can assume that 50% of the world population has never even seen snow, so then why sing about it.  For those who have never seen snow before should know that it is not like the movies, whatsoever.  It sucks.  And for those who wish it snowed on Christmas are just stupid.  Here are 2 scenarios.  You decide which one sounds AWESOME!

Scenario 1
This is a REAL picture of snow
You wake up on Christmas morning to that beautiful picturesque description I wrote earlier about;  only this time, instead of smiling, you are frowning.  You have to drive for 2 hours and now it is snowing.  Your commute just went from 2 hours to now 4.  You cant change plans as it is too late.  Your kids are already excited to go and see their cousins and get more presents from your family.  What to do?  You make the decision to drive.  It takes you an hour to clean your driveway and your car because the snow plows have plowed you in.  The bad ass outfit you decided to wear is now covered in a white blanket of snow that will melt in seconds and make you soaked and cold the rest of the day.  Your son slips in the driveway and now is crying.  Your daughter is complaining that her feet are cold.  Sigghhh. You get the crew in the car and start to drive.  The snow is coming down hard.  The visibility ahead is low.  You are driving about 30mph in a 65mph area while huge SUVS fly by you kicking up snow on your windshield.  When you finally get to the house way later than expected, you find out that most of the food has already been eaten by the family members who live nearby and were too Scrooge to wait.  Your kids are already stressed and upset over the loooong car ride. Your body hurts from shoveling.  Your body is cold and damp from the snow.  Your bad ass Cole Haans now look like something that was bought from Aldo's.  Now, its getting late and you need to go home.  The snow has stopped for awhile but now it is colder. The roads have all turned to ice and your commute now even got longer.  You decide to stay overnight at your family members house. You are unprepared. Your daughter is pissed because she doesn't have her phone charger. Your son is mad because he left his gameboy at home.  And your wife is going on and on about how the hair dryer at this house is terrible.  You look up at the sky and sigh. Thank you Jesus.  

Scenario 2
Frosty the SandMan
You wake up Christmas Day and look out the window.  There you see beautiful color birds chirping.  The lush green trees sway slightly as a wonderful Keanu (means cool breeze in Hawaai) sweeps through bringing the smells of this beautiful landscape inside your home.  You think about your brother who lives in NJ and how he is getting a huge winter storm at this very moment and smile even bigger.  Your plans today are simple:  open presents, let the kids swim in the pool while you lay out get some color and then head over to an outdoor BBQ at your buddy Jakes.  Since it is so beautiful out, Santa decided the night before that it would be fabulous to surprise the children by putting the Christmas presents underneath the outdoor backyard Christmas tree.  You open the door to your patio and see your beautifully lit Christmas tree smiling back at you.  Your children run to it and begin sorting out the presents. Your wife has made a wonderful smorgasboard of food that she has filled every inch of the patio table with.  You enjoy a wonderful breakfast while watching your children opening their presents.  After presents and breakfast, you do the holiday tradition by all jumping the pool in their pajamas.  The pool is very warm and the warm breeze outside just makes it feel perfect.  You get out and bask in the sun while your children play with their new pool toys that Santa has gotten them.  You take a little nap and have a nightmare about your brother in NJ.  You see him in his driveway shoveling, his son slipping in the driveway. You see his wife complaining about the hair dryer and his daughter non-stop complaining about everything.  You wake up sweating and in a panic until you realize that you are safe in sound at home where it is warm and sunny.  Ahhh.. the life you think!  

Which scenario would you choose??!

Merry Christmas!! 


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