Skip to main content

Made in China

We recently have been entertaining our precious angel Ava by strapping objects from her car seat handle so they hang in front of her.  This is more or less just a tactic to get our daughter to stop crying and be entertained for a little while.  It worked.  The fun little toys that we hung in her car seat certainly did the trick as she stared at them intently as if they were some live creature from a land far away aka China.  It didnt take too long until i noticed something.  Actually I noticed it immediately when i saw it.  When i said to my wife the obvious she said "No way" and laughed it off.  Me, on the other hand, was petrified of what our little Ava was being "seduced" by.



Ladies and gentlemen, i give you the "fun little toy" that was entertaining Ava for the last month.  You be the judge of what you think this looks like.  For PG 13 reasons i will not state the obvious.  Oh and if it cant get any worse...they come in pairs. I only took a pic of the one.

At least it doesnt have 1 eye  ;-)

Hey .. at least its pink!

hahaha... im holding it by its ..uh huh huh (Butthead voice)

So what do you think it looks like?  Perverts.  Regardless... after my 13 yr old BAMF (bad ass mofo) nephew stated the obvious to me, I said that it was time we give ol' pinky a break from my daughter's innocent eyes.



In case you are wondering, it IS made in China! This is the way they will take us over.  By getting into our little girls heads filling it with snuff!  Dam you commies!!!


This pink object looks like it needs to be on the cover of the infamous The Little Mermaid cover.  YIKES STRIPES FRUIT STRIPE GUM!!!  Having a little girl is going to be VERY difficult!!

OH MY!!

Spread the Bart Chronicles by simply "liking" this post. And if you dont like it then screw you. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Justin Timberlake Experience .. and my shameful beer snob status

I have seen some great legends live in concert over the years.  Paul McCartney, Billy Joel, One Direction - to name a few.  But one in particular - Mr Justin Timberlake aka Justin Bart or JB as he goes by - was one for the ages. 

I got to enjoy this spectacular human with my beard wife Rose last night at the Prudential Center, in the city of dreams, Newark NJ.




The Perineal Massage..

My wife is approaching her 37th week of pregnancy.  Apparently, in your 37th week you are supposed to begin massaging your perineum.  "What's a perineum", you asked as so did i?  The perineum is basically the taint.  "Ahhhh.. ok.  I get it.  But massage it??", is what i asked.  Yes, massaging it helps with the pain when the baby crowns during childbirth.  "So just rub it or sumthin?" (in Chip Chipperson voice .. Opie and Anthony fans anyone??)  Not quite.. 
Here are the instructions on how to successfully massage your perineum:

The Christmas Glitter Bomb

Its that time of year again.  A time when people and family members that you haven't talked to, well, since last Christmas, reach out with open arms and send you their annual Christmas card.  We took part this year as we now have a newborn.  We both felt obliged to show off our little one to everyone on our wedding list and beyond.  It felt nice.  It's more of a hey-look-how-cute-our-kid-is behind a Merry Christmas message.  Regardless, our card was a simple photo that did NOT have a surprise waiting as you opened up the envelope. A surprise that jumps out at you and says "SURPRISEEEEEE!!!oh and merry christmas"  I'm talking about the glitter bomb.  You all know who you are.