Skip to main content

BREAKING NEWS: Nutley, NJ Mom puts 5yr old in tanning booth.

This just in.. actually yesterday but i was busy.. 

Nutley NJ, the place i reside,  makes headline news ... Thanks Patricia Krentcil!! This is AWESOME!!!! 

Nutley Mom puts 5yr old in tanning bed!   You cant make this stuff up folks..especially if you are from NJ.  Let this be a lesson to you youngstas:  Tanning bed and babies are a no-no!  

I don't know what's more disturbing; the kid in the tanning salon or this woman's face.  It looks like she is trying out for the Robert Downy Jr role in Tropic Thunder.  It looks like her face is going to scratch off.  

Good Lordy..if this doesn't get you to stop tanning then i dont know what will.  You know how they put those awful graphic images on cigarette packs.  They should just put her on tanning beds.  People will certainly stop tanning.  

Id fucking quit smoking in a second if this could happen!!

Hopefully Snookie will learn from this and i dont mean about the kids and the tanning bed thing. I mean her in particular.  Take a look at this woman!  It's frightening.  Snookie..its only a matter of time doll.  Use some aloe before its too late! 

Another reason for the rest of the country to make fun of NJ.  Thanks Housewives of NJ, Jersey Shore, Chris Christie (not him but his weight), our ex ex gay Governor (not that theres anything wrong with that), our ex Governor getting into an accident and almost dying for not wearing his seatbelt and then getting caught up in a ponzi like scheme, NJ Guidos, guys taking their shirts off when going to clubs, and many many more.  Its times like these that i feel the need to walk around with my head up and be a proud NJ-ian or ite or whatever the fuck it is.  Hey.. look at the bright side.. Tom Cruise and Bruce Willis were both from NJ!  YAYYYY


Popular posts from this blog

My Justin Timberlake Experience .. and my shameful beer snob status

I have seen some great legends live in concert over the years.  Paul McCartney, Billy Joel, One Direction - to name a few.  But one in particular - Mr Justin Timberlake aka Justin Bart or JB as he goes by - was one for the ages. 

I got to enjoy this spectacular human with my beard wife Rose last night at the Prudential Center, in the city of dreams, Newark NJ.

The Christmas Glitter Bomb

Its that time of year again.  A time when people and family members that you haven't talked to, well, since last Christmas, reach out with open arms and send you their annual Christmas card.  We took part this year as we now have a newborn.  We both felt obliged to show off our little one to everyone on our wedding list and beyond.  It felt nice.  It's more of a hey-look-how-cute-our-kid-is behind a Merry Christmas message.  Regardless, our card was a simple photo that did NOT have a surprise waiting as you opened up the envelope. A surprise that jumps out at you and says "SURPRISEEEEEE!!!oh and merry christmas"  I'm talking about the glitter bomb.  You all know who you are.  

The Perineal Massage..

My wife is approaching her 37th week of pregnancy.  Apparently, in your 37th week you are supposed to begin massaging your perineum.  "What's a perineum", you asked as so did i?  The perineum is basically the taint.  "Ahhhh.. ok.  I get it.  But massage it??", is what i asked.  Yes, massaging it helps with the pain when the baby crowns during childbirth.  "So just rub it or sumthin?" (in Chip Chipperson voice .. Opie and Anthony fans anyone??)  Not quite.. 
Here are the instructions on how to successfully massage your perineum: