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Showing posts from April, 2012

Aint Nutting but a G Thang BABAAAY

My wife's 38th week of pregnancy is coming and very soon we will be getting a knock on our door from the stork with a little bundle of joy. "Oh how i wish this is how it was" is definetly what my wife is saying reading this now.  And so as we approach "D-Day" many things are beginning to go through my mind.  

Will i be a great father?  How many times a day do we need to feed her?  Will she sleep through the night?  Can i have sex with my wife in front of the baby?  Is my life over?

These are all pretty much standard thoughts that one should have, i assume, before your world is turned upside down when becoming a parent.  But there is really 1 BIG question that i pose; 1 that i am VERY concerned about. My question is this:

The Perineal Massage..

My wife is approaching her 37th week of pregnancy.  Apparently, in your 37th week you are supposed to begin massaging your perineum.  "What's a perineum", you asked as so did i?  The perineum is basically the taint.  "Ahhhh.. ok.  I get it.  But massage it??", is what i asked.  Yes, massaging it helps with the pain when the baby crowns during childbirth.  "So just rub it or sumthin?" (in Chip Chipperson voice .. Opie and Anthony fans anyone??)  Not quite.. 
Here are the instructions on how to successfully massage your perineum:

BREAKING NEWS: Kim Kardashian for MAYOR??

Kim Kardashian has been caught on tape stating that she will be seeking election of mayor of the grand ol city of Glendale, California in 2017:

“I decided I’m going to run for the mayor of Glendale,” Kim says. “It’s going

The name "Dad" is soooo played out...

Dad.  Daddy. Pa. Papa.  Seriously??  Every man in the world that is a father has this name.  Why not change shit up a bit.  Who says i have to be called Dad anyways?? 

There are billions of fathers in the world but why are we called "Dad".. here's why:

BREAKING NEWS: Mad Men's January Jones eats her placenta!!

It seems the post pregnant celebrities are all the rage these last couple weeks.  First, you had Alicia Silverstone Kiss-Feeding her baby and now you have January Jones eating her placenta.  Yes, she ate her own placenta, in vitamin form if that makes a difference.