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NJ Housewives from a male perspective...

OK so i am not ashamed to admit that sometimes my wife's tv shows fascinate me.  And i am also not ashamed to admit that sometimes (maybe all the time) i look forward to watching female drama unravel on TV. After watching the Real Housewives of NJ for the past 3 seasons i must admit that this is such trash TV.  It puts NJ once again in a whole other spectrum from the rest of the country. and I LOVE IT.

Hmm.. where to start.  After a season is over they have whats called the reunion show.  So basically what this means is the entire show is somewhat scripted and then at the end of the season they get together to discuss what went on in the somewhat scripted show.  This is what i thought at least.. until NJ housewives came aboard. I mean you cant make this shit up.

where to begin.. Theresa and her husband Joe are fighting with Theresa's brother .. yes you guessed it.. Joe and his wife Melissa Gorga.  The latter are new to the show.  Shit goes down thanks to the tremendous and respectable editing team at the Gorgas son's baptism party.  The fight that takes place is like Teen Mom proportions or like McDonald fights you see on YouTube. I mean its no joke. Old people are getting thrown around. Babies are crying. Fists are flying. 

Just another day in North Jersey
And let's not forget the unforgettable Godfather-esque scene with Joe Gorga yelling in Italian to his father about not loving him.  If reality shows were given academy awards this scene stealer would have given Joe his first.  This fight was like the Godfather.. Everytime i try to get out (from watching this show) they pull me back in. 

The rest of the season involved Theresa basically fighting with everyone under the sun. Im pretty sure Guiness has been contacted about how many enemies one can make in a 12 episode reality series. Its pretty amazing.   Now that Theresa has shown her true colors it makes you wonder if Danielle Staub actually really was a good person.

So I am not sure why but Theresa always reminds me of a dinosaur

This season took such a turn for the better. The absence of Danielle was present so the need for a new bad guy definetely was needed. In steps Theresa.  Good lord can this bitch know how to stir a pot.. and i dont mean in the kitchen.  For those who bought her "cookbook" shame on you.  I'd rather have my polish Great Grandmother attempt to make me ravoilis before i try that bitches! 

New to the show this season are Theresa's sister in law and cousin, Melissa and Kathy.  Melissa reminds me of every guido girl you see at like Joey's or the Surf Club.  I cant say much though because i actually like her and Joe... i dotn know why.  I cant stand people who are like this but they pull it off.  Her singing is atrocious.  Let's just put that out there. I love how forced her singing was in the show.  Like she is in the other room singing like "row row your boat" or some shit and her hubby is going "My god she can sing" as if the angels came down from heaven playing their harps and swallowed his body up with the beautiful melodies.  She is not a good singer.  I love how during the black water party.. which by the way.. who the FUCK would drink black water. I saw that shit on Amazon for like 60 bux a case.. WTF!!! is there like space rocks in it or something.  Anyways.. she sang that terrible song during that party.  Its funny cause she moved all over the place yet her voice sounded better than it did when she was in her 100k studio that her hubby built her.. hmmmm.. can you say lip synch!!and if she says "Thank you Jesus" one more time.. i will do nothing but continue to watch!

Kathy reminds me of Theresa in many ways. She always says the wrong thing at the wrong time. Then tries to back it up with another stupid comment.  She has a pretty cool family and the husband is pretty funny as well.  All in all she is growing on me.  But she is very very hard to look at!!  Those eyes are the size of pool balls. Its like somebody streched back her head and exposed her eye sockets..oh wait thats right im sure the plastic surgeon did. I love how also they force the fact that she wants to open a restaruant.  One minute she is cooking a bad ass meal in the kitchen and then like the next minute her husband says you should open a restaraunt.. I thikn at that moment they put their coats on and started to look at space to lease for a restaraunt. I mean seriously!!  I feel that since the show pays them little salary they allow the housewives to plug future endeavors.  And in comes the scripted writing..booooooo.. but these fights cant be scripted or are they!!  Regardless i am a sucker for women drama!

There she BLOWWWSS
And last but not least you have Caroline who at one point i used to like alot. Lately her constant Carolism quotes have just been getting to me. This bitch swears she is Mrs Answer.  Every single time somebody says something in steps Caroline with a Carolism (as i like to call them).  Shit like "2 raindrops can run down a window sill but only 1 will get there first" or "The rabbit can run fast but the turtle will catch up" .. WHAT.. of course i made these up.. but you catch my drift.  And lets not forget the famous "DONT MESS WITH MY FAMILY" .. oh yeah.. or what??? 

Jackie is my favorite and i think that she is gone from the show because of .. guess who.. Theresa.. So i think we will no longer be seeing her any longer.  Which is good because i dont think the show is doing her family any good whatsoever.  Her ... *** WARNING C-WORD ALERT .  C-WORD ALERT*** cunt of a daughter does nothing except thrive for the attention she is getting on the show.

well thats it for now.. more to come later.


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